America is planning outfits and regrets, not purchases.

Also in effect on this date

The full docket. Any of these would hold up in a Monday standup.

• Everyone spent their entire discretionary budget in December.

  Holidays · in effect New Year's Day (6d before through 9d after)

• Everyone is returning what marketing convinced them to buy.

  Retail Calendar · in effect 12-26 to 12-31

• The week between Christmas and New Year's does not legally exist.

  Holidays · in effect 12-26 to 12-31

• QBR prep has consumed everyone who could have approved anything.

  Workweek · in effect 03-25 to 03-31, 06-25 to 06-30, 09-25 to 09-30, 12-26 to 12-31

• Q1 budgets exist in a spreadsheet that finance has not unlocked yet.

  Holidays · in effect New Year's Day (6d before through 9d after)

• Half the country has not mentally returned from break.

  Vacation · in effect New Year's Day (6d before through 9d after)

• A nation is holding gift cards and deciding what it actually wanted.

  Retail Calendar · in effect 12-26 to 12-31

• Quarter-end discounts have trained every buyer to wait you out.

  Workweek · in effect 03-25 to 03-31, 06-25 to 06-30, 09-25 to 09-30, 12-26 to 12-31