Problem
The summer slowdown is deflating every core metric.
Excuse
The summer slump is real, documented, and conveniently unfalsifiable.
Every metric that went down did so seasonally.
Also in effect on this date
The full docket. Any of these would hold up in a Monday standup.
Out-of-office density has crossed the threshold where outreach becomes performance art.
Vacation · in effect 06-15 to 08-15
It is too hot to exist, let alone convert.
Weather · in effect 06-15 to 08-31
Nobody comparison shops at 97 degrees.
Weather · in effect 06-15 to 08-31
Everybody with purchase intent is currently in a body of water.
Weather · in effect 06-15 to 08-31
There is an inverse correlation between heat index and add-to-cart, and this week proves it.
Weather · in effect 06-15 to 08-31
Summer Fridays are in effect, which means Thursday was the last business day.
Vacation · in effect Jun, Jul, Aug · Fridays
Political fundraising emails have torched inbox placement for everyone.
Politics · in effect 07-01 to 11-08 · election years
Your agency contact is also on vacation, per an auto-reply with no end date.
Vacation · in effect 06-15 to 08-15